Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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