idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
