Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Life is so much better after having sex.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
