My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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