Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
