Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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