is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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