She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
