I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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