so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
