Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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