If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
