i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
