So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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