I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize