Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize