His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
