think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
