I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize