Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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