Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
