If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
pop tarts are not kleenex
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
His nipple licking is glorious
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