Those balls look pretty dangerous.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
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Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
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Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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