I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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