Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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