and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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