I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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