dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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