Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
