So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
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did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
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Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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