Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
