We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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