i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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