So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
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I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
