so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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