never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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