he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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