ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
