First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Green mimosas i think yes
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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