I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Send help, water and tortillas.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Bring me that man meat
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
