apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Randomize
