i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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