There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
