So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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