Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
