i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
