i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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