Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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