There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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