I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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