I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
