DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
