"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
