Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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