I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
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I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Someone signed my nipple.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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