Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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