She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
