i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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