Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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