Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
