I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
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You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
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I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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