we're blogging at a bar
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
