I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
