the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize